35w5d

Wow- so it's been about 15 weeks since I posted.  That's pretty amazing.  And not in a good way- I didn't mean to leave anyone hanging!

Basically, for whatever reason, I stopped being able to post at work (I think it's when google changed over to a newer version) and to be perfectly honest- the thought of sitting down for a half hour at night and blogging just wasn't going to work.  If I was going to post, it had better pass some time at the office :)

I recently received an e-mail from someone who stumbled on my blog and was wondering what the HELL happened with the last scan and where I was and so sure enough, when I tried to log in this morning it- worked!  So, here's the rest of the story...

We saw the perinatologist in late February.  He took one look at the previous scans and said her heart was beautiful.  Perfect heart.  He saw the spot on the tummy that they were talking about but wasn't convinced it was anything major.  He decided to take a look for himself and sure enough, he couldn't even find it.  He asked why we had declined first tri screening and basically said that without doing an amnio, he couldn't be 100% sure of anything.  BUT, being a high-risk doctor and essentially an "amnio-pusher" (his words, not mine), he would NOT recommend an amnio in our case, because in his opinion- the risk of the amnio outweighed the risk that something was actually wrong.  He said that most babies with severe defects are IUGR (inter-uterine growth restricted) and my baby was in no way, shape, or form growth restricted.  We were most concerned about Down's syndrome since her structural functions were looking good and he said that most babies with Down's have shorter arms and legs by chromosonal make-up.  He re-meausred her legs about 3 times, each time saying she had super model gams just like her mama. :)

We left the appointment very hopeful.  For the first time, I allowed myself to be super excited about the pregnancy and what is to come.

The last 12 weeks or so have been a whirlwind- a beautiful nursery, an amazing shower, LOTS and LOTS of crazy house prepping for a bambino.  We are 29 days from our due date.  I am equal parts thrilled, scared shitless and supremely uncomfortable :)

Our little girl will be here before we know it.  It's hard to fathom just how drastically our lives are about to change.  I just can't get that nagging, "If there's nothing wrong, then why did 3 scans show that something was?" out of my head.  I am trying.  I am trying VERY hard.

My dr's appointment went really well yesterday- hard to believe I'm already up to weekly visits.  My bp was still good (108/50), no protein or sugar in my urine, weight gain at a respectable 23.5 lbs and while I haven't dilated, she could feel the baby's head locked and loaded into position.  We are thrilled.

I am tired.  Not sleeping- although, I am not having a ton of "late" pregnancy symptoms.  No heartburn, no swelling, etc.  I am having a bit of lower back pain which comes from having to lug this extra weight around and I'm a little weepy but I'm pretty sure that's par for the course.

It feels good to write again.  This period of pregnancy is hard physically, but also emotionally.  It's like standing on the edge of a cliff- knowing that when you jump NOTHING is ever going to be the same.  And you could jump today or it could be another 5 weeks before you finally do.  And nothing is guaranteed.  I know none of us are promised tomorrow- but I just want my baby in my arms, healthy... and I guess then we can figure out what in the world we're supposed to DO with a newborn :)

I better run- my Maternity Leave replacement is coming up to meet with me this morning (only 11 more days at the office- less if you consider the fact that I have jury duty next week (uh yeah.. more on that later) and I have a few last minute instructions that I need to finish.  It's starting to become really REAL.  Yikes!